Thursday, December 31, 2015

Dogs Are Dirty!



How to be a Good Father, I'm not one which is why I'm writing this blog.
My hope is you learn what not to do. ;-)

I wouldn't consider this bad, I'd say "learning from experience". Enjoy the hangover. 


The title seems catchy to let's stick with it, and its true. I have witnessed many a times when a dog ate faeces (crap), it doesn't care what animal it came from, possibly even its own.
If you are wondering if I'm writing this to tell you that you can save diapers by having a dog, that is not my intention.


There are a few things about teaching children about animals that is important. One is fear. I like fear. Not for me, but for children its great. Once you teach children fear it seems to be instilled in them forever (and ever). Hammer it into them (but don't use Thor's Hammer, that hurts).

Let me suggest to you how you might want to start that conversation.
You can point out dogs have sharp teeth, vampire-like abilities and claws that they can scratch glass (stronger than diamonds! Not exactly true, but they are kids so they might not call you on your science facts yet).


I remember reading a book a while ago about how animals and babies interact. It said never (and I mean ever) leave a child unattended with an animal. Yes through artificial evolution, they have been tamed to be man's best friend (women's too, I'm not sexist), but sometimes their natural instinct kicks in and they do what they originally were made to do. Hunt and attack.


If you really want to read graphic details about it there should be endless stories about toddler's being injured or killed through dogs interactions, especially the more aggressive dog types. I saw one on the news yesterday about a child being attacked and the owner's girlfriend tried to stop it and it attacked her sending her to the hospital. The owner later told police "Well, you shouldn't have taken it for a walk yet". WTF!


In addition, sometimes a young child does something harmless to a gentle dog, like poke a few fingers in their eyes, pull its tail, fingers in the dog's mouth etc. Even though the child doesn't realize it, its not fun for the animal and they animal may react in a negative way (I pretend dogs are like sharks).

I had a friend that had a small dog but it had a loud bark. When my 1.5 year old thought it was cute, he put his hand forward and it would bark aggressively. I could tell that if he stuck out some fingers and no one was watching it might chomp them off.

I suggest giving him a baseball bat, incase things went haywire and I wasn't watching (as I said I'm not a great father, so I usually get sidetracked with drinking and UFC). That's just a joke! (mostly)


I sometimes see these cute dogs and think, these mofo's are killers inside.
They want to bite the hell outta my child, and its true.
If you've ever seen a doberman near a fence and a child putting its fingers towards it you will know I mean. It wants to not injure but kill.

Don't worry its a not a real child. (I hope)


So enough with the jokes and more to seriousness as a father. Remember that animals especially dogs may harm your child especially if you leave them together, its in their nature, If they are provoked no matter how gentle someone says they are, remember babies know nothing, they don't understand pulling a tail is bad. Never ever leave the two in combination together.

My moral of this lesson is dogs are dirty and could be dangerous, so therefore be mindful of your children. If not you may fail as a father.





You might think this guy is funny and cute. He is a mad killer.