Baby or adult.
Human or non human (aliens I'm not sure, but probably not good either).
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| You've been lied to I tell you! |
Have you ever heard anyone say it smells good? If yes, you may want to avoid that person like the black plague. Don't worry the black plague isn't around anymore, but it might make a comeback (if people stop vaccinating their kids. I'll blog that another time).
Incase you weren't aware breast feeding babies diapers smell better than bottle fed ones. But even worse is real food fed babies. They really really stink!
So essentially if you are lucky enough to have a breast fed only baby you can enjoy the sweet smell of ros.... not roses, I'm not sure what, its not that good, but its better than the alternative of real food.
If your wife is supplementing with bottle (and powders), then you might be half way there but you still haven't hit the good stuff.
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| So cute, except for the sly and evil plan! They are all the same. |
When they start eating solids, it might be simple. A banana, spoon of yoghurt, a cheerio (I thought only one would fill them up but they need multiple cheerio's FYI. Don't feed them just one).
Those smells will start to ease you into what's about to come. Yes, its amazing! And not in a good way.
Real diapers, with real poo, those are a doozy. Once meat is in their diet I highly suggest buying clothes pegs for your nose, or put cotton balls up them. I know my co worker told me you buy Vick's VAPOR RUB even if you don't have a cold and stick your fingers deep inside thy nostrils. Ya I used the word thy, cause that's how I roll).
It will block your stinky receptions from handling the real taste (I mean smell) of poo.
The colours are like the autumn leaves as well, you see they change too incase you didn't know.
In the beginning it might be grainy and look like gold (trust me prospector its fool's gold so don't make a ring out of it),
It might start turning black, then kinda green ish. Then eventually liqud ish and tasty (if breast fed. I meant to say normal looking not tasty).
I should forewarn you of one more thing alluded to above. The time. Never trust a baby. They are sly and cunning and their insensible need to go to the bathroom trumps everything. Once you start putting on a nice new diaper BAM! They go on you, or into the new diaper. Its a cycle of life that all animals must contend with (except dogs and other animals don't have diaper wipes they use their tongues).
So the moral of this post is that in the beginning you might be thinking, MOFO I have to change diapers. Think positive that it smells not so bad. It will only get worse with age and food types.
As the poo colours change with age like a rainbow, remember that its normal and they are probably not taking E (or other drugs {yet}).
Oh the joys of parenthood.
Its kinda like Forrest Gump and his box O chocolates,
"You never know What THE F you are gonna get!"
Enjoy it!
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| I wish my child could do this. He'd never wear a diaper. |
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Other funny stories from my Japan blog
My blog about everyday life (not Japan related/ and maybe less amusing )
My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
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